So, I’m posting twice today. Lucky you. I found this older post from sometime last fall. I can look the date up but I’m trying to not be blown away by the wind just kicked up and is coming in the kitchen windows. It’s been nine months since I wrote this.
It’s funny, how very little has changed since then. This post at Ten Minute Missive got me wondering, and I had, at one time many more posts here. But I pulled them and saved them as drafts. Please don’t ask why.
This is one of them.
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12th January, 2010
My life runs in this chaotic rhythm and has for years now. It seems to work for my family, even if I want to run away from it sometimes to just hide somewhere and breathe quietly for a little while. There are many things that I should be doing right now. Probably not right at this moment since it’s 9:22pm on a Sunday evening, but right at this moment in my life. There are always little things to take my time, day to day things that take little moments, but amass an enormous amount of accumulated time when added up together.
Instead, I am swallowed up in tangled up piles of yarn. Different kinds of yarn. All of it tangled, and none of it started that way. Some came in skeins, some came already made into something that I have decided to reclaim into something else. All has ended up in some degree of entanglement. I think it is a sign. That yarn hates me. Or that the Universe is trying to tell me something. I haven’t figured out what yet, because I continue to harass the yarn and untangle it, and hang it, ball it, and move along to the next batch.

(I don’t have the original image that went with this post anymore, and if I do, it is buried in my photo archives. I do however have this cute little bunny. Not a bunny of course, but the completed ball of yarn. A la eyeballs and all. My attempt at trying not to hate it entirely.)
That pretty shiny stuff up there is made of bamboo and is the softest to date. But up until today was my most hated. Today, I was in the process of unraveling a Gap sweater, when it tangled. Worse than the bamboo dared, and now it is my nemesis. I don’t know why I am bothering all this messing around with the yarn. The job I had so fortunately acquired in this wretched economy has turned into one terrible flop, for no lack of trying on my part. The job itself could have been, many things. But well, I will be polite and cordial and respectful to my still employer since I have yet to give my resignation because I am a baby and haven’t gone in to tell them I can no longer work for them because no one who does not already advertise with them does not want to advertise with them. It does not matter what I tell them, beg them, cajole them, or how young and cute I am. Substance matters in a situation like this, and in this instance, their problems are bigger than sales revenue.
So I waste multitudes of hours in yarn. Yet, for now, I have nothing knit. Because, it is too pretty in a ball. Like this website, has sat idle for months now, because I made it this beautiful calm, peaceful place and I don’t want to wreck it. Which in these few months of chaos that I can not even begin to spell out here in a few words, I have come to realize is my deeper unresolved issue. I am very good at starting these wonderful things, but I don’t follow through, because Heaven Forbid if I do not finish something to it’s absolute perfection like my obsessive compulsive perfectionism control freak personality type needs it to be, but it’s ok, I’m cool too if everything falls to pieces, really, I can handle it. And I can. I’ll just absolutely neglect this. My photography. My newly re-found yarn love. And whatever obsessive obsession I happen to have at the moment, which could range from researching the compounds in dirt to finding out what Phineas and Ferb did on last weeks episode. I’m trying not to neglect me anymore, despite the interruptions.
This was meant to be a “photogallerywebshowcaseblogsite” in it’s inital inception, but Aug ’09 my camera bit it. It’s great for snapshots, but hey, who needs another blog full of snap shots right? I’m not about those. I have yet been unable to replace it, and have since decided the road I was running down with my photography isn’t the one I want to go anyways, so it’s worked out for the best. I still miss having a camera like anything in this world, but I have a pretty decent camera phone that will work for what I want for this space. After a 6 month hiatus with not taking a single photo (and no, that’s not much of an exaggeration) I’m finding myself taking a few here and there with my phone. And find myself wanting to blog them. I found an Android WordPress App for my phone, once I work the kinks out, there may hopefully be more here. Since I am also a lazy blogger, and emailing photos to myself, then uploading them, is a pain and too much work, if I can send them straight to my blog from my phone, it’ll work out. Hopefully, if anyone even reads this anymore, you will be seeing more here.
Oh, just a tidbit, I dreamt about dancing. For the first time in a million years.
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PS. That yarn, is still sitting in balls, waiting to be knit. I just can’t seem to find the right pattern for it. But really, I don’t think this is about the yarn at all, is it?
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